Inner Growth

I look back at the last six months. Wow. Six months out of the 409 I have been alive. It should be almost nothing. Just 1.5% of the total time I've been on this planet, to be precise.

So, how can I feel like such a different person today, compared with the one I was at the beginning of the year? I wonder if this is a good or bad thing. Slow change always seemed to me the more sustainable, long lasting way. And I truly hope this change is here to stay. So, I worry.

It suddenly feels like I have changed more in six months than I have in the five years prior to that. The idea makes me pause. I ponder. What does this mean? What does it mean for the path I was on during those five years? And the path I am on now? Again, I wonder if what I'm observing is something positive. Surely it is. It must be. It feels so... right.

About six years ago, I knew I was somewhere important on my life journey. I finally felt confident in the relationship I had with myself, the most important relationship of all. I was hopeful and genuinely believed in my dreams coming true. I had found my inner balance. I had showed myself new levels of independence. Perhaps it was the first time I understood what being on the right path truly meant. What following my heart and finding my purpose meant. It felt like the summit of a beautiful mountain peak, yet the beginning of something amazing. Not the end goal.

Fast forward five years and a bit... It was like I found myself almost exactly in the same spot on my journey. Only maybe a couple steps ahead. A couple steps that had taken five years to travel. But in a good way. Not like I had wasted my time. Or strayed. But in the same way I sometimes go on a side hike around a beautiful lake, looping back just a few meters ahead of where I exited the main trail. Then continuing on the main path, the main purpose of the long, challenging hike. A simple detour. A little delay. Not life changing. But worthwhile.

It's clear that, after having slowed down my journey, I had to get back on my main path to continue living my purpose. To be at peace with myself. To love myself again. To find that inner balance again. The one I used to treasure so much. And to continue to grow. Faster. Better. Into the next six months. And many more after that.

And although I am grateful for my loop around the beautiful lake. I'm definitely happy to be back on track.